Ten ways to tell you’ve been living in Sicily too long

1. I unashamedly buy my underwear at the markets.

I used to be embarrassed at the prospect of buying undies and bras from market stalls, the idea of everyone observing me was once crippling. Now I don’t blink an eye and happily rummage around the lingerie stand. I also occasionally buy fruit and vegetables from the back of a truck and seafood from a refrigerated van, when in Rome …

2. When someone asks me how I am I answer like a Sicilian.

‘Sono qua … Ca sugnu’ (I’m here), come vuole Dio (by gods will). The customary response of a fatalistic islander.

3. I study supermarket flyers religiously and prepare meals from discounted items.

Sicilians never pay full price for anything as saving money is an obsession. The economic crisis has simply made it more of a necessity. I always ask for a discount on luxury items as I know I am entitled to one. I’ve become an expert haggler at the markets, my strategy simple, name your price, stick to it, threaten to go to another stall and you will get a great deal.

4. I can eat my bodyweight in pasta.

Yes, the waistline has been gradually let out over the years as I’ve succumbed to Sicilian’s gluttony for pasta, sweets, sugar coffee and salami. It’s been a pitiful downslide into hedonism, but it’s all so good and the diet always begins tomorrow.

5. I no longer get ticked off by delays and long waits or lines at the post office, bank or public offices.

I simply clear my timetable, wait, complain together with the other people or to the teller and take it all with a pinch of philosophy. We are in Sicily after all, it’s always been like this, there’s no need to stress, take it as a lesson in patience.

6. I take the time to greet people with a handshake, a little chat and often use the typical Sicilian custom of the brush or kiss of the cheeks.

I like how people in small towns take the time to socialise, even if it takes up time if you are in a hurry, stopping and starting conversations or offers of numerous cups of coffee. But if you have not seen a friend or relative for a while it is perfectly normal, a shake of the hand and a peck on both cheeks (starting from the left and either brushing each side or actually kissing so as to avoid head butts and awkward pauses) A word of advice though, be sure to go indecisively, as it means you are respected, well loved and accepted, there’s nothing to be frightened of!

7. I hardly ever use my car, I walk a lot around my town, to run errands, it’s nice to move my fat ass around so that constitutes physical exercise, doesn’t it?

Also, there is no way I’m driving with all those Sicilian maniacs on the road, it’s friggin dangerous! I’d rather confront the stares of all those little old men who hang around in the square rather than put my life in danger. I also refuse to go back to driving school to convert my Australian drivers license, its an embarrassing prospect, I simply renew my international license annually!

8. I am no longer surprised by news reports about corruption, swindling, cheating and tax evasion in Italy.

It happens so often I’m thinking it’s part of the cultural makeup, when you have a system that robs you blind it’s normal to want to get something back and a lot of people take it by force, a vicious circle really.

 

9. I am used to living in a more closed off conservative almost segregated society.

 I have no Sicilian friends and Sicilian society tends to believe men and women cannot be friends without a sexual element involved (a very old-fashioned idea) and then there is very little talk about emotions, opinions or even girly talk! I thank god for my writing, my blog, fellow bloggers, my Australian girlfriends, mother and husband for small talk. Virtual friends on FB are helpful too!

10. I demand good coffee and wine!

I have always loved coffee, when I was younger I was all about creamy cappuccino and latte’s but now I need the punch of a sugary espresso in the morning to get me up and going. A good bottle of wine is a regular feature of my table and I am always on the lookout for the perfect wine and food combination. A fine wine can really enhance a meal and it’s not about getting drunk, it’s a real art to match the perfect wine with fine fresh seasonal produce. Italians take long expensive courses to develop their palate and it’s a true pleasure of slow eating!

 

 

 

 

 

P.S: This post was inspired by two fab bloggers who wrote similar lists about their experiences in Sicily and Sardinia namely Veronica from The Dangerously Truthful Diary of a Sicilian Housewife and  Jennifer from My Sardinian Life. Be sure to check out their lists and wonderful blogs.